This far to the end...

Is the time for me to let go everything and have a brand new start.

First of all, I would hope the person who should read this note, and she is the meaning I wrote it for… name would be void, but I will be glad if she ever get a 15 minutes time sit down and read thru this.

This is a last time I ever writing notes from now on, in this notes I din expect any reply from u, or even any action from u, for this I’m just expressing my feeling for keeping it for so long, and lastly I decide to clear it off. And pls do… just a 15 minutes… it won’t take u so long, I’m not forcing u to read it as treating u selfishly, but is the way of I’m not being selfish towards myself to tell it out…if u decide to close this page… I will not blame anything as Its beyond my control, but I really hope u read it…

And its begin as,

Been half a year we not contacting each other, I do really miss u day after day, night after night, and it never changed. I would like to admit that I’m being selfish the time that I keep ignoring u after we divorced, I’m really sorry… I still very love u actually, I can still sense that u still love me as well, and u will come back. As ur signals all over friendster, msn title bar… and the last was “still can’t get it? Really wasting American time” I saw it… I get it all actually… and I do wanna reply u as my mind want it. But my heart scared… I have lost my confident to get u back… and the fact is the hurt feeling is too deep and it stops me to going forward to u once again, I really hope that we both can end up with very nice and perfect story we ever had. For real…

The reason of I deleted my friendster profile, is because of you, why would I do that? Reason behind I actually suffering from 2 ways decisions, and every single msgs u showed… it reflect more memories I had in mind, from the past b4 we couple thru after we broke-up… and my mind has limitation to handle it… I deleted your handphone your msn as well… I dun hope to do that… but I just too love u, keep seeing u online pop-up on my list, i can’t do anything rather just looking at your nick and wondering what u doing… how are u… where u are… and I dunno why I so in love with u… the feeling is just too strong. Normally I wouldn’t do that to others ex-es… all I have to do is ignore u… and pretending like a person that dun care for u but actually in my heart I cared a lot… I care a lot everything u do… the most hurting part which I remember is the day of u spent me lunch @ pyramid hakka dishes… it reflect me on the spot I felt like crying… because we said b4 when we’re still couple we will definitely go to that restaurant again because the 1st time only I am the one was eating only… but ended up the 2nd time we went over and unfortunately we already broke-off…on top of that I fight back my tears as I dun want u to see a weaker-side of me… as I wanted to show u the person I used to be is a happy go lucky guy, being back a buddy of u I’m not satisfy for that as I still love u real much, so I decided to move far away from u and stop contacting u at all to make u feddup on me… I tried to move back to the girl I used to loved b4 we get together.. im sure u know who was it, but the fact is I dun love her anymore and the sparks never comes out ever again, because my mind fulfill all over your images… but I still had to tell u that I loved her… remember u asked me wether my msn msgs was it give u as my ex to see? In here I can tell u… its for u… and I really missed u… these words I kept in my heart, and the words I told u was differently, if im not mistaken I told u “no comment”, and starting to tell u that don’t bring the memories up as I want to forget it…and u were adviced me by saying things cant be forget when I really wanna forget it…right? Tell u wat, I really can’t forget u… but the words I told u I hurt myself too… and its real deep… and at last, my plan was successful, from your msn showed the last sentence.. I already know u are giving up, I was there infront of my computer seeing it… my heart was crash into pieces, but half of it I’m glad on my success planning u’re really not contacting me anymore…

How ever it was, no matter how suffering it was, no matter what we had b4, no matter what happened between us b4, every story have to be an ending… and I will set the ending right here…

I wanna say sorry to everything I ever did to you, I don’t mean it, sometimes I just can’t control my temper in certain situation… maybe as u say, I’m not a good bf yet, but I will improved, I remembered your advices… I will definitely improve, for you I will, I will not treating my future gf same thing happen ever again… thanks for your advices.

Again I wanted to say thank you for leaving a foot prints in my life journey book, for being a part of my life, u are meaningful to my life, u brought joyful to my life, together did something that I ever did b4 with other ex-es… I din’t blame u as u said I was, believe it or not, its for real… thanks for walking a part of journey with me even tho its short.. but by adding the days ever since we met… we’re like together for very long time… I’m very glad that I had a such brother like u, a nice pretty caring gf like u, a such hearted buddy like u… thank you so much… truthfully thanks… and so on…

Good luck to you in everything u do and all the best in year 2009 =)
May god blessed u always,

-K3nNy- Wong Kin Meng
28 January 09